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This Pity Act You're Always Sporting (500+ words) 
Author: [profile] sharon_hate 
Rated: R
Disclaimer: These are fictional events.

You make me crazy, Pete. You make me completely irrational. (Jeanae White/Pete Wentz)

"This Pity Act"

He’s just as crazy as she is, they make each other that way. Only she swears she maybe would’ve had a chance if he hadn’t shown up at her window at 3 in the morning, rocks pelting the glass with small, sharp clacks.
She rubs his scalp, his head in her lap, and she thinks maybe it’ll work this time because she’s not so little anymore and he’s broken down enough to give in(up). That only lasts ‘till the next morning when she’s at Dunkin Donuts and some teenager like she was will recognize her, spewing nasty things because she wants so badly for Pete to write about her. (Why would they want that? It always makes Jeanae’s ankles hurt like they’re too weak to keep her standing.)
It reminds her why she shakes her head, and mutters, “No, no. I can’t do this.” Because it makes her crazy sometimes, being caught between loving him and wishing him to death.
Six weeks later, she takes him back because he throws all of himself into it, and no one else has ever done that for her. (But she’s so young; there really haven’t been any other opportunities. It’s more like she feels no one else would do that for her.) He drowns in her and she wants to be pulled down with him because it’s such a surreal experience to be so desperate and needy. He calls her at 11 at night, and it’s not by any means too late, but she sees his name lighting up the screen of her phone and her heart loses rhythm.
When they fight, he calls her a lunatic, but she tactfully reminds him he’s not any better. That’s probably why he swears they’re meant to be: no one else will take them—plus, he needs that the chaos to create a purpose, to keep order. He needs to stay busy or things happen. (Atavan Halen and the record won’t stop skipping.)
He writes about her and something in her gut goes, "Oh." But then something else clicks into place and she remembers that he called her a cunt the week earlier and her response of "God, you really think I'll be impressed with that?" is justified.
Jeanae fell in love with him because she was fifteen and that’s what fifteen years olds do with Pete Wentz. She seemed older and he seemed younger. He took her virginity (or maybe she gave it to him) the night before he left on tour; she was sixteen barely. It felt like she would never see him again and she wanted him to remember her while all those other girls threw themselves at him. Thinking back, she thinks maybe she should’ve waited because he still remembers her, four years after it really meant something.
When the doctors ask what happened, she’ll reply with, “Pete Wentz.” Nothing else has ever made her feel so off-balance before and it’s almost like she’s been hollowed out and set up on display. Now, later, she realizes it was the adrenaline—it pumped in her bloodstream, making anything seem possible and everything seem reasonable.

XO, you know. Always, that's the problem.

notes: If you're still with me after realizing this is het, thanks a lot. Seriously.
Admittedly, I don't know too much about Ms. Jeanae.
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J. Gomez

May 2009


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